Who's a pretty f***ing boy ?

78 Oaston Rd, Nuneaton, Warwickshire in England is home to a celebrity which with one phone call or letter, you can arrange a visit. The celebrity is known as Barney and very popular with the chicks.

Like Paris Hilton, Barney is famous for being famous.

Like Paris Hilton, Barney is guilty of bad behaviour: Paris is into home made blue movies; Barney is into home made blue language.

You see, Barney is a much publicised parrot with a colourful vocabulary, where the BBC, Telegraph, the Sun, Daily Mail and many other media ran stories about him and his extraordinary words use.

Let me enlighten you courtesy of Metro.co.uk

Meet Barney, the parrot with a mouth so foul he'd make pirate captain Jack Sparrow blush.

Bad boy Barney – who once told a vicar to f*** off – has taught a pair of impressionable pals at his animal sanctuary how to swear.

Staff had been careful to mind their p's and q's so parrots Sam and Charlie would not turn the air African blue.

But owner Geoff Grewcock said: 'It sounds like a builders' yard sometimes when we come in here, what with all the abuse flying about.

'They just sit there swearing at each other now, all kind of foul language – it's unbelievable. I am obviously going to have to be very careful about introducing other birds into the house now I know we have got a secret teacher.'

He said the terrible trio's favourite rude words were 'f*** off', 'b*****ks' and 't**s'.

'We also have to turn the television up a lot of the time because we can't hear it over all the swearing', he added.

Macaw Barney's most shocking outburst was when he told a mayoress, vicar and two police officers to 'f*** off' and called them 'w******' when they visited Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary in Nuneaton.

He was put in solitary confinement as punishment but the seven-year-old has refused to clean up his act – despite being taken to a language specialist.

Mr Grewcock added: 'These birds can live until they are 70 so there are potentially another 60 years of this to contend with.'

Parrot expert Rob Harvey said birds usually talk to get the attention of their owners. He added: 'This case is so unusual because parrots are copying another parrot.'

Next time I am in the UK, I'll look up Barney at his home at Nuneaton Wildlife sanctuary. You know, have a beer, share some peanuts, get his clawtograph.

From what I read on their website, there is a another celebrity in the making : Roxy the fox, who thinks she is a dog.

Now if only Roxy could learn to bark in profanities along the lines of "Bugger off. show me your T**ts." Afterall, we've heard of animals catching Bird flu. Perhaps Dogs, I mean Foxes who think they are dogs, can catch Bird Tourette's syndrome.

NOTE: For those who wish to help, The Nuneaton Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary is a charity. If you want to help, please make a donation.

Phileas Fogg
Houston, Texas,
April 12th, 2008