Have you seen a commercial for Rosetta Stone language CDs? I caught one today whilst watching Bloomberg and part of the pitch, is that NASA uses them.Why on earth (or any other planet) would NASA wish to be learning languages since they are North American Space Agency that is focused on exploring the heavens?Perhaps they've taken the term 'illegal aliens' to be literal and all Astronauts need to be speaking Spanish just in case 'natural aliens' also speak the same lingo as 'illegals'. On the other hand with area 64 consiracy theories (I reach for my tin foil hat here) Maybe they are secretly learning Martian or Klingon just in case. Perhaps the CD has "Repeat after me : Greeting. Take me to you leader and can I exchange $1000 for Martian zonks?..."
Don't laugh too hard on the Klingon part as there are a bunch of sad individuals who actually do learn this language. See http://www.kli.org/ if you think I jest. Not only that, but the site has 2.7 million hits. (I can think of a few hits I like to give them but it would involve a baseball bat but I am not being a caring/sharing blogger to even think that.) What's more, the site is a freaking charity. Geeks 1: US taxpayers 0.
Speaking of Geeks, I once worked with an engineering manager who visited Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas. I asked how it went. He said it was great and I listened anticipating an interesting debacauched yarn or two. "Yes it was excellent, there happened to be a Star Trek convention there at the same time". I almost let out a belly aching guffaw but kept it to a smirk instead. If this is what happens in Vegas, they can bloody well keep it in Vegas.
I've always wanted to learn different languages but realized I have fundamental character flaw: I am lazy. I've bought multiple language tapes and CDs over the years but my linguistic skills are confined to English, conversational German, some french and how order in Spanish.
Even though I lived in Germany for 3 years, I never mastered it. I guess, it was having so many people switch to English whenever I attempted to speak my hesitant German, that I didn't invest time to learn it properly. It didn't help that the crowd I hung out with were predominantly expats. Whilst I could remember the words, I couldn't absorb the genders of the nouns. As such knowing whether it der, die or das impacted my confidence. (For example I know "Tisch" = table but today, can't tell you if it is male, female of neutral).
Having visited Germany and Austria since, I resigned myself never to know the genders, so I just speak in Pidgeon German. I no longer care if I make a mistake and found that I was still understood. As such, this has improved my confidence. I will make an effort to have a conversation in German whenever I hear it being spoken and probably along the lines, repeat some key phrases that I have learned the correct gender such as "Ich wohne in Den USA". I've even been complemented on fact that I speak good German! One of my Polyglot Irish friends commented after a Dallas 'Stamtisch' that he'd heard me speak more German in one night that what I'd spoken in entire time in Munich.
Which brings me on to how much language do you need to know to get by? I've found that I don't bother learning for situations where people probably speak English: At the airport, Hotels, car rentals etc and instead concentrate on situation such as restuarants, shops and getting directions. There are also some countries that English is not widely spoken. For example, Italy so you'll need to make an extra effort. The same with South America in that some degree of spanish fluency is required.
In Japan, English is tought to younger generation but my experience is that spoken english is not at a good level although written english is better understood. I guess it is the confidence thing.
Go to Philippines and English is widely spoken. A Filipino senior manager once told me that English is used as the language to bridge all the local dialects.
I was also found out that when I visited Central Europe, that if English wasn't understood, I could often get by in German.
So is my mission to learn more languages? Yes, but only to the point of getting by. It is not that I am an little Englander )I am a welshman afterall) or an English language supremist but realize that I already speak the second language of the world. The dilema of the English speaker is that if I am to specialize in a second language, what would that be : Mandarin, Hindu, Spanish?
Modern English itself is a pidgeon language developed in older days from when the top half of England needed to speak to bottom half. It has been basterdized from french, latin, german, norse and celtic and other influences. "Ich sprache, du spricht etc" has been simplified to 'I speak, you speak etc" and genderization of nouns has been jetisoned. Even the formal "you" (of du or tu) has been au revoir'ed. (Impressed with my french !)
Still there is a linguistic battleground going on even in English: American English vs. British English. They have gone their own ways over the years. In most cases it is is minor spelling (eg/ color vs. colour) but in other instances it can lead to interesting situations over colloquialisms.
'Fag' is British English refers to a cigarette so saying "I am dying for a fag" (as a Brit friend on mine once said innocently in California) can lead to a few eyebrows being raised.
The opposite of this dual language was an American collegue who on a trip to London, didn't quite understand why everyone burst of laughing when he said that he needed to sit down as his 'fanny' was hurting after a long days walking. (Explanation: "Fannie" in UK is slang for a certain part of the female anatomy a but further to the front of the American version).
English is not the only language to present such linguistic misunderstandings. It took me a few weeks on Germany to realize that "I am hot" should not be literaly translated to German as "Ich Bin Heiss". The sniggers after I said it gave it away and I later found out that "Ich Bin Heiss" was slang for "I am horny" and that I should in fact be saying "Es ist mir Heiss" (Literally 'It is to me hot') ! To my dismay, I also realized that in my prior usage of "Ich Bin Warm" and "Ich bin Kalt", had inavertantly described myself as "I am gay" and "I am frigid".
Oh well. C'est la vie.
Phileas Fogg,
Houston, Texas
June 18th 2008
Postscript: Since most business trips are dealing with engineers, perhaps I should swallow my pride and learn Klingon instead!
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